[Chuuya hits him again, because he can, even though they both know that if Chuuya really wanted to hurt Dazai he wouldn't go for a pillow. This isn't anger, and he hates the fact that it's not anger.]
You can't make me trade you something to get an orgasm every time!
[Not that they're doing this again. There's no way, because Dazai absolutely would do that, and Chuuya can't let himself fall for it another time.]
[This ridiculous pillow fighting is probably the closest thing to a normal relationship either of them has ever had, and that's saying something. Chuuya isn't actively trying to beat the shit out of Dazai, and Dazai isn't even being all that insufferable.]
It won't be, if you honor your favor.
[Or maybe he's being very insufferable still.
He should get up; whatever this was is over, and Dazai doesn't need to be here any longer. Whatever it is, this thing they do, it's not the sort of thing you spend the night after, and doing so would be crossing some boundary Dazai has set for himself, and hopes Chuuya has as well. But even so...he doesn't feel like getting up just yet.
He should, though. He will. Dazai pushes himself into a sitting position, grabbing at the pillow. If he can get it, he'll use it to smother Chuuya.]
[That statement surprises him enough that when Dazai grabs for the pillow, Chuuya lets go, too distracted with making sense of it. He's not sure if Dazai is saying they'll definitely have sex again, or if he's going to make Chuuya help him get someone else to sleep with him. He really doesn't want to do that, in that case, though obviously he'll honor the favor.
It's probably a third option, or Dazai is just fucking with him.]
I hope you're never even able to get it up again.
[You know what, Dazai, he has more than one pillow, so he's going to grab a new one. Just in case he needs to hit him some more.]
[Dazai gets up on his knees just to attempt to shove the pillow over Chuuya’s face. Of course he’ll be able to get it up again; Dazai has managed to get it up in truly bizarre situations, so that’s not going to be a problem.
He’s not going to think about the fact that he does actually sort of expect to have sex with Chuuya again. It seems to keep happening despite how he’d told himself in the past it wouldn’t, and it feels like the more he swears it won’t, the more it happens again.]
I hope nobody ever fucks you as good as I did. That you suffer with the fact forever.
[Chuuya is a bit too slow - he'd blame that orgasm, but that would be the same as complimenting Dazai - and he doesn't have time to roll away. He turns his head to the side instead, so that Dazai can't easily cut off his breathing, or stop him talking. And then he's going to start slapping at where he thinks his head should be to make him let go.]
Anyone could fuck me better!
[It's not true. He hates it, but it's not even a little bit true. Dazai is somehow better than anyone Chuuya can remember sleeping with, and that's not something he wants to think too deeply about, or at all.]
I hope you never sleep with anyone who even compares to me!
[They’re in this absurd battle of Dazai trying unsuccessfully to smother Chuuya, and Chuuya trying to smack Dazai’s head to get him to stop. It’s not hard to dodge, but that makes it difficult to keep the pillow in place, and Dazai finally gives up, yanking the pillow away to place it under his own head and make himself comfortable. Even though he’s definitely going to be getting up and leaving any minute now.]
The way you were begging for it, I’d have thought all your other partners to be absolute failures.
[Dazai knows Chuuya enjoyed it, but he’s really just guessing here. He has no idea of Chuuya’s past lays, and doesn’t want to.]
Please. I’ve slept with dozens I can compare you with. Would you like me to list them?
[This is also a lie, but Dazai isn’t going to admit to that, or even think about it.]
[And Chuuya will immediately hit Dazai with the other pillow he grabbed. Just once, though, just to make a point.]
I wasn't begging for it.
[He was, but he'll never admit it. He only said please once, so it shouldn't count, in his opinion. He's gonna lie down as well, leaving space between them.]
[If Dazai gets hit, it's totally on purpose! He's allowing it, that's all. It's not like his hair isn't a mess already anyway.]
You absolutely were begging for it. [He makes his voice higher-pitched, teasing.] Dazai, please! I need it!
[The space between them is not all that much, but it's something obvious. A line they don't cross. Dazai is careful to keep his body just outside of it, though he knows it would be easy to reach over and do something else to antagonize Chuuya. That's just going too far, opening up the door for something he doesn't want to think about.]
You have no way to prove I'm lying. Rather, I have proof to prove that I'm not.
[Only a bit, and most of them are in the forms of letters calling him unrepeatable names, which he would rather not show to Chuuya.]
[No, Chuuya is going to cross that line now. He's going to throw himself across it, on top of Dazai, because it's his turn to press a pillow against Dazai's face. Because it's the only way he can think to shut him up.]
I didn't say it like that!
[He ignores the rest, because it's less important. He really just needs Dazai to be quiet.]
And I wasn't begging for you, I just wanted an orgasm!
[Dazai startles at the fact that Chuuya is now very much on top of him, pressing the pillow against his face. Is this an attempt to smother him? If so... there are worse ways to go, probably. But since it's Chuuya doing it-
He reaches up with both hands, fisting them in whatever he can grab of Chuuya's hair.]
You did, on both accounts. [Dazai's voice is muffled, and he's getting a mouthful of pillow, but he never shuts up when Chuuya wants him to.] You were begging, and I- benevolently- let you-
[He pulls, hard, and bites at Chuuya's pillow in the hopes of ripping it. Serves him right to have to buy a new one.]
[Chuuya makes a frustrated noise when Dazai grabs his hair. He tries to resist, but it hurts, and while he can take the pain, it's going to have other effects. He should never have let Dazai find out about that.]
I didn't! If someone's really begging they'll do it for longer, I just wanted to get the whole thing over with!
[He's forced forward, almost lying on top of Dazai now, which is making it harder to keep trying to smother him. He'll keep trying, though, even if it's clearly not working.]
[Any little weakness Dazai finds, he'll exploit. Thus, the hair-grabbing, twining it easily around his fingers. It's soft, something Dazai finds disgusting and annoying and just all kinds of terrible, and he's not going to let go until...
Well, until he decides to.]
It was good. Don't lie.
[The closeness of Chuuya's body brings warmth that Dazai isn't quite comfortable with, because it's too human, too close to intimacy, and that's not what this is. It's them using each other to get off, which is how it's supposed to be. And yet, he's still here, fighting and rolling around with Chuuya on his bed like they're stupid teenagers, instead of immediately grabbing his things and leaving.]
[Chuuya gives up on the pillow. He leaves it there, but stops trying to force it against Dazai's face, because it's clearly not working as a weapon. ]
I'm not lying!
[Surrendering to Dazai during sex doesn't mean anything. It's just sex. It's just a game between them, and in a real fight Chuuya would never give in, so it doesn't count.
The problem is that the feeling stays with him for a while after. There's a weird sort of relief to giving in, to letting Dazai have that power, no matter how much he hates letting Dazai have anything. It's disgusting, but there's a part of him that wants it, and he's not ready to let go of that feeling yet. Not that he's planning to let Dazai win this argument, he'll just let him exhaust himself instead.]
[Dazai grabs the pillow once he feels the pressure relent, peering over it before shoving it at Chuuya's face. He has to have the final say here, no matter what.]
You're lying, or in severe denial. Either way, it's very sad.
[He stretches his arms over his head, feels something pop and stretch in his back. Chuuya's bed is... actually rather comfortable, which Dazai hates. He's going to focus on that rather than the fact that he's still here, or that being with Chuuya like this is frustratingly easy, despite the fact that they 'hate' each other. And this sort of fighting? It pales in comparison to their actual arguments, something stupid and trivial and downright fluffy for them. Dazai tells himself it's because of the sex! Who wouldn't be in a good mood after decent sex?
[Chuuya makes an annoyed face behind the pillow, and shifts his weight so he can push it away. He ends up sliding halfway off Dazai again, laying on his side next to him, still close.]
You can't prove it.
[Even though they both definitely know it. He's definitely not meeting Dazai's eyes as he says it, just because that would make him too easy to read, so instead he's going to poke Dazai's side just to be annoying. He doesn't feel like doing more than that. In fact, he really just wants to go to sleep like this, staying almost pressed against each other, something that he should hate but he doesn't.
He resists the urge to press himself closer again.]
[They’re too close. When he sleeps with people, Dazai does not want to touch after the fact at all, but he somehow isn’t shoving Chuuya away—though Dazai does swat at the hand that pokes his side.]
Oh? You want to go again already?
[Dazai rolls onto his side, too, keeping the space between them, but it’s less than it used to be. This is… a farce of intimacy, he tells himself, like lovers but absolutely not, because they hate each other. Obviously. The only reason he’s not left yet is because it’s late and he’s tired.]
[The idea of going again already should be horrifying, but it's not. He should be objecting, pulling away from Dazai, kicking him out. Instead he kind of wants to repeat the challenge to see if Dazai really will fuck him a second time. But -- ]
I said it was the last time, didn't I?
[He still says it like a challenge. And he already knows it won't be the last time. Maybe they won't fuck now, but sooner or later, it will definitely happen. It feels as inevitable as everything else about their damn partnership always has.
And it's not like it wasn't the best sex he's ever had.]
[Yes, Chuuya did say it was the last time, but he says things like that a lot and never follows through with them. Dazai can imagine this is probably one of those times, and knows if he tries, Chuuya will definitely be open to going again. Even if he initially fusses about it.]
When have I ever believed you about anything?
[Unfortunately, the true answer to that is plenty, because when it comes down to things that matter, Chuuya is trustworthy. But when it comes to things like this? He’s a terrible liar.
Shifting, Dazai nudges Chuuya’s leg with his foot. This is him inching over that imaginary line, but if it has to do with sex, it doesn’t count.]
[Chuuya gives Dazai an annoyed look, shifting back a little when that leg moves closer. Not far, though. Barely at all. But he doesn’t appreciate being called out, so he has to make a point, even if it’s a lie.]
Guess you really like fucking me. That’s too bad.
[The thing is, Chuuya really could easily go again. It wouldn’t take a lot for Dazai to get him hard now, but he also knows that if they do, he’s unlikely to be allowed an orgasm, and he doesn’t want to deal with how smug Dazai would be after that.
The annoying part is that part of him still thinks the sex would be worth it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge that level of masochism in himself.]
[Dazai doesn't hate fucking Chuuya, and that's enough. Rather, Chuuya's really not a bad lay, not that he'd ever admit it. And now this is sort of on the edge of becoming a challenge, especially when Chuuya tells Dazai to keep to one side of the bed, which Dazai had been intending to do, but now... Well.]
Which side? This side?
[Shifting, Dazai edges further towards that imaginary line, his leg brushing properly against Chuuya's now. He's pretty sure it won't take a lot to get Chuuya hard, considering how pleasantly responsive he is, but whether or not they'll fight about it is another thing.]
[Chuuya doesn’t want to keep pulling back. That makes it seem too much like he’s scared, which he’s definitely not, he just doesn’t want Dazai to win. But the only way for Chuuya to win now would be to convince Dazai to back off.
He tries to kick Dazai’s leg off him.]
I’m going to sleep.
[He no longer feels sleepy. A bit boneless still, with the memory of submission curling in his stomach, not exactly unpleasant but not something he can let himself give in to.]
[ Sleep is good. Sleep means Chuuya will shut the hell up and Dazai can exist in peace. Or... wait, he's supposed to be leaving. He's not staying over. Now that Chuuya is trying to kick him off, though, Dazai feels like letting him give up and go to sleep would be losing, or at least permitting something that might be thought of as 'considerate', and Dazai can't have that.
The question catches him by surprise, though? ]
Huh? I don't want you. [ It's an automatic response, really. ] Weren't you just saying you weren't going to let me fuck you again? And now you're asking how badly I want you?
[ Not badly at all! Dazai could take it or leave it. Leave it, preferably. Even though Chuuya is far more decent in bed than most people he sleeps with. ]
[It worked. Chuuya got Dazai defensive, which means Chuuya might not end up having to admit he'd let Dazai fuck him again... maybe. At least for now.]
You were climbing all over me. You obviously want me a lot.
[He smirks as he says it, and then shoves Dazai back, just to rub it in a bit more. There's no way to for him to feel like he won after tonight, but he can still gain a few points against his asshole ex-partner.]
I'm definitely not letting you fuck me. At least unless you really begged.
Climbing all over you? Hardly. You're the one who couldn't keep your mouth off of me.
[The idea of him, desperate for Chuuya? Laughable. Dazai can get laid; he can find someone to fuck. He can, and will, and that person won't be Chuuya. When he's shoved back, annoyance has him moving in again, into Chuuya's space, a familiarly annoyed glare fixed on him.]
As if I'd ever beg to fuck you. Do you really think I can't find someone else? That I didn't do this for your benefit?
[Though... Dazai wouldn't do anything for Chuuya's benefit, either. Fuck, why is he even still here?]
[Moving closer, that is, right up into Chuuya's space, even if Chuuya had removed that space between them first. He's the one who jumped on top of Dazai to shove that pillow over his head, but at this point that no longer counts, clearly.]
Why the hell would you do that for my benefit? As if I need it, I can easily get someone else to fuck me.
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You can't make me trade you something to get an orgasm every time!
[Not that they're doing this again. There's no way, because Dazai absolutely would do that, and Chuuya can't let himself fall for it another time.]
I hope that's the last orgasm you ever have.
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It won't be, if you honor your favor.
[Or maybe he's being very insufferable still.
He should get up; whatever this was is over, and Dazai doesn't need to be here any longer. Whatever it is, this thing they do, it's not the sort of thing you spend the night after, and doing so would be crossing some boundary Dazai has set for himself, and hopes Chuuya has as well. But even so...he doesn't feel like getting up just yet.
He should, though. He will. Dazai pushes himself into a sitting position, grabbing at the pillow. If he can get it, he'll use it to smother Chuuya.]
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It's probably a third option, or Dazai is just fucking with him.]
I hope you're never even able to get it up again.
[You know what, Dazai, he has more than one pillow, so he's going to grab a new one. Just in case he needs to hit him some more.]
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He’s not going to think about the fact that he does actually sort of expect to have sex with Chuuya again. It seems to keep happening despite how he’d told himself in the past it wouldn’t, and it feels like the more he swears it won’t, the more it happens again.]
I hope nobody ever fucks you as good as I did. That you suffer with the fact forever.
[Truly a curse.]
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Anyone could fuck me better!
[It's not true. He hates it, but it's not even a little bit true. Dazai is somehow better than anyone Chuuya can remember sleeping with, and that's not something he wants to think too deeply about, or at all.]
I hope you never sleep with anyone who even compares to me!
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The way you were begging for it, I’d have thought all your other partners to be absolute failures.
[Dazai knows Chuuya enjoyed it, but he’s really just guessing here. He has no idea of Chuuya’s past lays, and doesn’t want to.]
Please. I’ve slept with dozens I can compare you with. Would you like me to list them?
[This is also a lie, but Dazai isn’t going to admit to that, or even think about it.]
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I wasn't begging for it.
[He was, but he'll never admit it. He only said please once, so it shouldn't count, in his opinion. He's gonna lie down as well, leaving space between them.]
Even if you list them, I'll know you're lying.
[He doesn't. But he doesn't want to hear it.]
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You absolutely were begging for it. [He makes his voice higher-pitched, teasing.] Dazai, please! I need it!
[The space between them is not all that much, but it's something obvious. A line they don't cross. Dazai is careful to keep his body just outside of it, though he knows it would be easy to reach over and do something else to antagonize Chuuya. That's just going too far, opening up the door for something he doesn't want to think about.]
You have no way to prove I'm lying. Rather, I have proof to prove that I'm not.
[Only a bit, and most of them are in the forms of letters calling him unrepeatable names, which he would rather not show to Chuuya.]
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I didn't say it like that!
[He ignores the rest, because it's less important. He really just needs Dazai to be quiet.]
And I wasn't begging for you, I just wanted an orgasm!
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He reaches up with both hands, fisting them in whatever he can grab of Chuuya's hair.]
You did, on both accounts. [Dazai's voice is muffled, and he's getting a mouthful of pillow, but he never shuts up when Chuuya wants him to.] You were begging, and I- benevolently- let you-
[He pulls, hard, and bites at Chuuya's pillow in the hopes of ripping it. Serves him right to have to buy a new one.]
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I didn't! If someone's really begging they'll do it for longer, I just wanted to get the whole thing over with!
[He's forced forward, almost lying on top of Dazai now, which is making it harder to keep trying to smother him. He'll keep trying, though, even if it's clearly not working.]
The orgasm wasn't even that good!
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Well, until he decides to.]
It was good. Don't lie.
[The closeness of Chuuya's body brings warmth that Dazai isn't quite comfortable with, because it's too human, too close to intimacy, and that's not what this is. It's them using each other to get off, which is how it's supposed to be. And yet, he's still here, fighting and rolling around with Chuuya on his bed like they're stupid teenagers, instead of immediately grabbing his things and leaving.]
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I'm not lying!
[Surrendering to Dazai during sex doesn't mean anything. It's just sex. It's just a game between them, and in a real fight Chuuya would never give in, so it doesn't count.
The problem is that the feeling stays with him for a while after. There's a weird sort of relief to giving in, to letting Dazai have that power, no matter how much he hates letting Dazai have anything. It's disgusting, but there's a part of him that wants it, and he's not ready to let go of that feeling yet. Not that he's planning to let Dazai win this argument, he'll just let him exhaust himself instead.]
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You're lying, or in severe denial. Either way, it's very sad.
[He stretches his arms over his head, feels something pop and stretch in his back. Chuuya's bed is... actually rather comfortable, which Dazai hates. He's going to focus on that rather than the fact that he's still here, or that being with Chuuya like this is frustratingly easy, despite the fact that they 'hate' each other. And this sort of fighting? It pales in comparison to their actual arguments, something stupid and trivial and downright fluffy for them. Dazai tells himself it's because of the sex! Who wouldn't be in a good mood after decent sex?
...Not that Chuuya is decent at sex.]
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You can't prove it.
[Even though they both definitely know it. He's definitely not meeting Dazai's eyes as he says it, just because that would make him too easy to read, so instead he's going to poke Dazai's side just to be annoying. He doesn't feel like doing more than that. In fact, he really just wants to go to sleep like this, staying almost pressed against each other, something that he should hate but he doesn't.
He resists the urge to press himself closer again.]
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Oh? You want to go again already?
[Dazai rolls onto his side, too, keeping the space between them, but it’s less than it used to be. This is… a farce of intimacy, he tells himself, like lovers but absolutely not, because they hate each other. Obviously. The only reason he’s not left yet is because it’s late and he’s tired.]
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I said it was the last time, didn't I?
[He still says it like a challenge. And he already knows it won't be the last time. Maybe they won't fuck now, but sooner or later, it will definitely happen. It feels as inevitable as everything else about their damn partnership always has.
And it's not like it wasn't the best sex he's ever had.]
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When have I ever believed you about anything?
[Unfortunately, the true answer to that is plenty, because when it comes down to things that matter, Chuuya is trustworthy. But when it comes to things like this? He’s a terrible liar.
Shifting, Dazai nudges Chuuya’s leg with his foot. This is him inching over that imaginary line, but if it has to do with sex, it doesn’t count.]
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Guess you really like fucking me. That’s too bad.
[The thing is, Chuuya really could easily go again. It wouldn’t take a lot for Dazai to get him hard now, but he also knows that if they do, he’s unlikely to be allowed an orgasm, and he doesn’t want to deal with how smug Dazai would be after that.
The annoying part is that part of him still thinks the sex would be worth it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge that level of masochism in himself.]
Keep to that side of the bed, bastard.
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Which side? This side?
[Shifting, Dazai edges further towards that imaginary line, his leg brushing properly against Chuuya's now. He's pretty sure it won't take a lot to get Chuuya hard, considering how pleasantly responsive he is, but whether or not they'll fight about it is another thing.]
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He tries to kick Dazai’s leg off him.]
I’m going to sleep.
[He no longer feels sleepy. A bit boneless still, with the memory of submission curling in his stomach, not exactly unpleasant but not something he can let himself give in to.]
How badly do you want me, Dazai?
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The question catches him by surprise, though? ]
Huh? I don't want you. [ It's an automatic response, really. ] Weren't you just saying you weren't going to let me fuck you again? And now you're asking how badly I want you?
[ Not badly at all! Dazai could take it or leave it. Leave it, preferably. Even though Chuuya is far more decent in bed than most people he sleeps with. ]
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You were climbing all over me. You obviously want me a lot.
[He smirks as he says it, and then shoves Dazai back, just to rub it in a bit more. There's no way to for him to feel like he won after tonight, but he can still gain a few points against his asshole ex-partner.]
I'm definitely not letting you fuck me. At least unless you really begged.
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[The idea of him, desperate for Chuuya? Laughable. Dazai can get laid; he can find someone to fuck. He can, and will, and that person won't be Chuuya. When he's shoved back, annoyance has him moving in again, into Chuuya's space, a familiarly annoyed glare fixed on him.]
As if I'd ever beg to fuck you. Do you really think I can't find someone else? That I didn't do this for your benefit?
[Though... Dazai wouldn't do anything for Chuuya's benefit, either. Fuck, why is he even still here?]
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[Moving closer, that is, right up into Chuuya's space, even if Chuuya had removed that space between them first. He's the one who jumped on top of Dazai to shove that pillow over his head, but at this point that no longer counts, clearly.]
Why the hell would you do that for my benefit? As if I need it, I can easily get someone else to fuck me.
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