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now we’re swallowing the shine of the summer
[Chuuya turned into the alley just in time to see Dazai fall over, a man with a bat standing over him. There were a few more people standing around, too - who the hell had his ex-partner pissed off now, Chuuya wondered. And how the hell had they managed to get the better of him. Dazai might be a shitty fighter, but he always had a plan.
Chuuya was already kicking one of the men into a wall when he remembered that Dazai's plan was often him.
If t was, he was going to kill him, he decided. They weren't partners anymore, after all. But it might just be a coincidence, too. This wasn't Port Mafia territory. Dazai probably hadn't known he'd be in the area. But if he'd got himself caught up in some thugs' business without a plan, then Chuuya was really going to kill him.
The last of the men went down, and Chuuya hurried over to check on Dazai. He crouched down next to him, gently patted his face, then pinched his nose for a few seconds to see if he really was passed out, or just being lazy. No reaction. He had a few scratches, some bleeding. One of the wounds looked bad, but it wasn't life threatening - it just needed to be cleaned and bandaged, or he'd almost definitely get an infection.
Alright, so. What the hell did he do?
Most people would bring him to the hospital, but Chuuya wasn't most people. He was mafia. And he knew Dazai valued his privacy, too. He could bring him to that pet agency of his, but the thought of doing that for Dazai made his skin crawl. Besides, he couldn't let word get out that he'd carried a traitor to safety. He could leave Dazai here. But then Dazai wouldn't know Chuuya had helped him, and he really wanted a chance to rub that in the asshole's face.
— He could bring him home.
It felt weird. It was something he would have done when they were partners. But it was only because he wanted to annoy him, not because he actually cared that he was hurt. Still, Chuuya hesitated a bit. He brushed Dazai's hair back, just to check his scalp for any other injuries. Yeah, he'd bring him home. He couldn't wait to see Dazai's face when he realized who had saved his sorry ass.
Carefully, Chuuya shifted Dazai around, pulling him up slightly by the arms, and then leveraged his weight onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Then he set off in the direction of his apartment. ]
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Chuuya going to meetings with a few toys on or in him was definitely the best. Remote controls are so convenient. Not that Dazai was able to pull that one off a lot, because some people - like Mori - would definitely have known.]
If only you were a beautiful woman, that wouldn't be a bad way to go.
[Death by sex! Definitely the least unpleasant death, and one Dazai wholly approves of. He may just aim for that one, eventually.
But not yet - and not with Chuuya, as stated. It's really nothing personal (much), but if you're chasing the concepts of love and death as described by society, not to mention their associated feelings of desire and fear that you don't experience the proper way yourself, then going for the common, heteronormative picture only makes sense, surely?
Still, that's a little too philosophical for the likes of Chuuya, probably. Lucky him.]
Then get me whatever you think I do deserve. [He may complain, but he's not really picky. He doesn't normally feel very hungry, but with his injuries, his body is working overtime to heal. Any food is good food.] Don't ask what I want if you're not going to give it to me anyway. That's a cruel way to treat an injured person, Chuuya.
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Flirtatious mood: Ruined.]
Tch. So go find a beautiful woman and get out of my life.
[He stands up again, and turns to leave so he can find his phone and order them something. He really doesn't want to get Dazai what he wants now, but he's not sure what else to order. He'd get sushi, but Dazai would just steal all his a favorite pieces.
And he does need the protein, and he deserves a treat, so maybe he should just get wagyuu after all. ]
You're the last person to deserve special treatment, injured or not. I'm going to shower.
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It's probably just because of his injuries. Chuuya's reactions are exactly as predicted, so it's not as if Dazai is losing his touch.
While Chuuya is away, Dazai shifts to grab the phone Chuuya got him, only grunting in pain a little as he does, and makes some necessary phone calls. It's mostly a matter of letting people - both at work and some shadier connections - know he'll be away for a while. The Agency can do without him for a while, but Fukuzawa deserves to know that Dazai will vanish for a bit even if nobody else does. As for the rest: well... Of course Dazai has taken measures to ensure that important information will end up with the right people, if he should suddenly "disappear". It wouldn't do to have that information come out now, even if calling the people guarding it also necessitates having them move. (The phone seems safe enough, but Dazai isn't trusting Chuuya more than he needs to. Chuuya's loyalty to the mafia has always been an absolute certainty - much to Dazai's petty annoyance, for reasons both practical and personal.)
Then all arrangements are made, and God help him, Dazai is already bored.]
CHUUYA! [He's already played the 'injured' card too much, so he's going for simply annoying, now, shouting in the general direction of the bathroom.] WHERE IS MY FOOOOOOD??
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Then when he gets out he has to use toner, serum and day cream on his face. He has to blow dry his hair, while scrunching it with his hands, twirling the longer strands to bring out his waves. His good looks don't come easy.
Besides, he's taking extra time today just to annoy Dazai.]
YOU CAN STARVE.
[This is yelled back through the open bathroom door as he rubs lotion into his body. He did order food, but it will get there when it gets there, and Dazai definitely doesn't deserve for him to put a rush on it.
He could have paid extra to get the food quickly, probably.]
DYING OF HUNGER SUITS YOU.
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[What a civilized conversation between civilized people. If Chuuya's place wasn't appropriately sound-proofed to prevent people spying on him, this would be dangerous indeed.
Well, whatever. Dazai is bored, so he clearly deserves attention no matter what.]
IF YOU DON'T HURRY WITH THE FOOD, I AM DRINKING ALL OF YOUR WINE!
[He's staying in bed for now, actually, but Chuuya doesn't have to know that. It's mostly an exaggeration for the sake of it, anyway: Dazai doubts that even he could drink all of Chuuya's wine.
Still, he could set him back an incredibly expensive bottle or two.]
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[Very civilized, very mature. Chuuya isn't too worried about his wine collection anyway - while he has no doubt Dazai could break into his wine cellar, he'd first have to make it out of bed, which is a bigger obstacle. Concussions are useful for something.
At least he assumes Dazai has one. Serves him right.
He continues taking his time. If Dazai wants attention, he'll have to be less of a dick, and not talk about women when Chuuya is flirting with him. Though Chuuya shouldn't be flirting with him at all. He's slipping up, and really, he's mad at himself. ]
IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, TRY NOT BEING AN ASS
[Dazai is bored and Chuuya is needy, it should be possible to solve both??]
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HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF AN ASS BEING HUNGRY?!
[...]
NEVERMIND, I TAKE THAT BACK!
[Clearly Chuuya and his ass are the wrong people to ask that question.
Hnnnggggg so bored so boooooored... Time to grab the very safe phone that Chuuya so graciously provided, and send out a bunch of dumbass anonymous texts to various people. Bad jokes; slight bullying here and there... Good times.]
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Is it possible for a blush to be audible? He feels like it's somehow audible.]
SHUT UP.
[Dont be mean. Especially since his ass isn't getting fed enough lately. He's starving, okay, he deserves some attention.
But not now, because he's definitely not going back into his bedroom until he's stopped blushing.
Although it's only a few minutes until the door bell rings, announcing the second food delivery of the day. Chuuya is really finished in the bathroom by now, he's just wasting time to annoy Dazai, so he goes to buzz them in, and doesn't even bat an eye at the ridiculous price for the meat.]
I should eat both in front of you instead of sharing.
[He says as he hands one takeout box over. So obviously not doing that.]
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Dazai may be in pretty shitty health right now, but between the successful teasing and the random phone bullying (which at least tides him over for a few minutes), he's in a decent mood. When the doorbell rings, he sits up straight, wide-eyed and eager like a hungry puppy.
Don't even pretend, Chuu. Dazai is the last person you'll fool.]
You should. Maybe it'll help you grow.
[Dazai only says this once he's safely holding his own box. He may be a dick, but he's not stupid.
He is, however, surprisingly hungry. It really must be the injuries making him crave nutrition this much, when he's normally fine with very little food.]
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He leans against the headboard, grabs his chopsticks, and then steals a bite from Dazai's box.]
I'm tall enough, asshole.
[At least that's what he'll claim now. He stopped growing years ago, long before Dazai stopped growing, which was just unfair.]
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Glaring over at Chuuya for his stealing, Dazai nevertheless decides not to comment on it. Not like he's going to miss a single bite. Even as hungry as he is, it will take some real effort to finish his entire meal.]
Personally, I think you could have been shorter. That way you wouldn't even have to kneel to suck me off.
[Embrace your midget life and shrink already, Chuu!]