[Chuuya hasn't gone on many vacations before. When he's taken time off, it's usually only been a few days at most, because he likes working, and he doesn't usually know what to do with himself with no responsibilities to fill his day. He's never seen anything wrong with that - he chose that life.
This though, is different. It does feel a bit weird, like he should feel guilty about this even though he doesn't, a thought that doesn't even make sense to himself. But it's not like he's here because he's running away from his responsibilities, which is what vacations normally feel like to him. He's here because he's choosing Dazai - choosing the two of them. He's here because that's important. He's determined to enjoy himself, too, to relax, to not take a single work call during the time that they're here. It sounds like it should be impossible, except that so far - less than a day after they arrived, so not really anything to brag about yet - he hasn't even considered breaking that promise.]
I wonder if they have any hats at the local market.
[He might just be saying that to tease Dazai a little. He's not even wearing his hat at the moment, and if he wanted a new one, he'd order one especially made for him, but there's enough people wearing them here to protect from the sun. It makes sense. But Chuuya isn't really looking for anything in particular here. He's curious to see what it's like, how different it might be, and the plan is to just go with what seems interesting and deciding later.
(He's pretty sure Dazai would say the plan is to not have a plan, but that's why Chuuya isn't telling him his plan.)]
[Even with the way their definitely-not-a-relationship had progressed, and even with their previous unsanctioned excursion, Dazai was a little surprised that Chuuya had agreed to go on a vacation with him. Dazai had considered the odds of Chuuya agreeing when push came to shove 50/50 at best, even with previous talk on the topic. ... Well, maybe Dazai had just not wanted to get his hopes up. He does respect how important work is to Chuuya, even though he doesn't always show it. And even though Mori is a terribly boss who probably needs to be taken out at some point. (Just not when Dazai is the most suited candidate for taking over, in the current balance of powers. No, thanks.)]
They do, they do!
[Dazai did his "research", which is why he gets to be quasi-enthusiastic about the hats. This is crab country, after all~! That's very much why Dazai picked the location. Mostly for the food, but all the cheesy souvenirs are a bonus. He turns to Chuuya with a smile that's clearly not at all suspicious.]
Let's see if they have something in your size~
[And don't worry, Chuuya! Your phone is on silent. Just in case! Funny how that happens... (Look, if the Port Mafia really needed to reach him, they'd find a way. And Dazai would probably know it before then, anyway!)]
[Dazai's smiles are always suspicious. In fact, everything about Dazai is suspicious - which in some cases makes it even harder to tell when he's actually up to something (more than his default amount), but Chuuya has gotten pretty good at it. And if Dazai isn't immediately objecting to his love of hats, it's not because he's changed his mind about how fashionable they are.]
A different hat store. One you wouldn't pick out for me.
[Does he even want to know what Dazai wants to make him wear? Probably better not to think too much about it, or Dazai will see it as a challenge and find something worse.]
Or something else. I wanted to get another shirt at some point.
I have standards because I need to look professional! I can wear casual clothes, too!
[He's dressed more casually now, for example! Very tourist appropriate! ... And also tailored and expensive, but that is besides the point, because the point is that he refuses to let Dazai be right.
Besides, this is about the crabs.]
But fine, I'll consider it.
[Consider giving it a chance, that is. No promises. He actually did want to get something as a souvenir anyway.]
You don't need to look professional when you're not being a professional. This is a vacation, Chuuya...
[Dazai keeps whining a little, but he barely even puts any effort into it. He knows better than most that pressuring Chuuya into doing anything rarely works; this is just how they talk, a lot of the time. It's fine. It's even a little comfortable somehow.
Meanwhile that local market seems to be coming up, if the increase in sounds and scents is anything to go by.]
Mmm, something smells good~
[He's talking about the food being cooked up in some stalls nearby, but he gives Chuuya a little lean-in anyway. Because Chuuya also smells good. Clearly this counts as multitasking!]
[Chuuya can't help but smile just a little at that compliment.]
I know you're talking about the food.
[But he knows Dazai is talking about him, too, even if Chuuya's scent is probably drowned out by everything else at the moment. He can't help it, though, compliments get to him, especially when Dazai says them so casually, even if he is doing it to get Chuuya in a better mood.
Because while pressure doesn't work on Chuuya, that just means Dazai will use other methods to get his way, and Dazai might just be trying to get Chuuya to lower his guard before resorting to some form of trickery. Chuuya's not too worried, though. Or, maybe he should say he doesn't really care. This is their vacation. No one else they know is here. He knew when he agreed to this that silly t-shirts or hats would be part of the package, because that's the kind of thing his dumbass not-boyfriend partner enjoys, so he's determined not to stress about it. Really. Mostly.
Though he can still attempt some distractions of his own.]
And I'm obviously not trying to look professional today. [No hat and he's wearing short sleeves!] Just wanted to make sure I looked good. Not that I don't have outfits with me you'll like even more.
[Because he wants to look good for Dazai specifically.]
[Is Dazai even talking about the food in the first place? ... Yes. Yes, he is. But Chuuya can't be sure about that!
Anyway, Dazai won't rub in the compliment more than he already has, because 1. that would be boring, and 2. he's already achieved his goal. Maybe he's not deliberately trying to get Chuuya in a better mood, but he does enjoy giving compliments. Mostly because complimenting Chuuya clearly reflects nicely on Dazai, too, since they're together. And Dazai doesn't even have to be human for it! Kind of feels like it, though. He's really not sure what to think about that, but it's honestly whatever.
So maybe he'll continue with the compliments for a bit. They're extra fun when out in public, after all. You never know when Chuuya is going to turn bright red~! Not that Dazai is aiming for that as such (because that, too, would be boring), but it's nice to toss some light attempts out there and see what, if anything, takes.]
Chuuya doesn't need clothes to look good. In fact, isn't it the opposite?
[Dazai looks over at Chuuya as if considering this question very seriously and borderline scientifically. (It is hard to hate Chuuya's outfit, though.)]
[Deliberate or not, it's working - Chuuya is in a good mood. He'd started the day in a good mood, really, just from being here with Dazai, which is strange if he thinks about it too much. This really is such an incredibly normal thing for people to do, which should mean it doesn't suit the two of them at all. And yet that just doesn't matter anymore.]
So I never have to dress up for you? [Not even a maid outfit?] And next time you suggest something, I should just strip instead?
[As long as it's just going to be the two of them. He might have let Dazai get away with a few things in public in the past, but there's a limit, somewhere around getting arrested for public indecency. Which is one advantage to being in this place - no one speaks Japanese. Hopefully. Because this could get embarrassing if they're overheard.]
What a ridiculous conclusion, Chuuya! [Okay, maybe it's not. But since Dazai has been so generous with the compliments, he needs to switch things up for .2 seconds.] Clearly you have to dress up for me first, and then strip.
Obviously you can enjoy a present twice as much if you get to enjoy the packaging first!
[Best of both worlds! Don't you dare take away Dazai's maid outfit dreams!!]
[Except that's a compliment, too. Dazai still wants to look, still wants him. Chuuya's cheeks flush slightly, more because of how pleased that makes him than any embarrassment, and his smile widens a little more. He does love attention.]
Then I'll keep dressing up for you while we're here.
[Meaning: No ridiculous touristy hat! Except maybe a t-shirt, though. Just to make Dazai happy.]
[Unsurprisingly, these two idiots have very different opinions on what counts as dressing up... but they've never seen eye to eye, literally or otherwise, and that's never stopped them from being good together before. Dazai is mostly content to roll with it.]
Let's just walk around the market, and see what we find?
[Dazai has no real goal here, after all. He's just here to vaguely and surprisingly enjoy existing with Chuuya.]
[They really are good together. Maybe they shouldn't be, but they are. Chuuya knows Dazai has his own ideas for how he wants Chuuya to dress up, and he knows he'll end up agreeing to at least some of it, but the push and pull keeps things interesting. And in spite of that, Dazai's presence makes him feel like he can just relax, just exist, just the two of them.
He reaches for Dazai's shirt, almost like he's about to move in close and slide an arm around his waist... And then that's exactly what he does, because why not? There's no need to say anything about it!]
Yeah, yeah. Let's find something shiny to distract you with.
[His tone is lightly teasing.]
And something to drink while we walk around. It's only gonna get hotter today.
Don't I know it... [Dazai loudly laments the impending temperature rise, as if it's going to affect him all that much. (The benefit of not doing anything is that he's unlikely to overheat! ... Though he does want to make out with Chuuya at some point. Hmm...)
Semi-complaining aside, he puts an arm around Chuuya in return, because as long as they're doing this, Dazai is all for doing it right. He has no problem with public displays of affection if Chuuya doesn't!
But he does need to plot a bit to take advantage of the slightly cooler temperatures... and to take advantage of Chuuya, of course. And so, in spite of his earlier declaration, he doesn't linger around the market for long, instead steering Chuuya to the beach for a quick look.
Or probably a not-so-quick look. And maybe some drinks.]
[He might not mind public displays of affection (might enjoy them, even though he frequently objects anyway), but that doesn't suddenly make them less embarrassing. Maybe he's too easily embarrassing. Which is why he's expecting some teasing comment from Dazai, glancing up at him with some surprise when he doesn't say anything. He usually likes making Chuuya blush.
But he can just enjoy it, then. He leans into it a little, and lets Dazai steer them wherever he wants, looking around the market curiously. It's a little overwhelming, trying to decide on any particular stall to head towards, when everything is so different from Japan. He needs to take it all in first.
And it takes him a few moments longer than it should to realize Dazai is steering them out of the market.]
So no stupid t-shirts today?
[He has no objections. He probably should, since he'd wanted to check out the market, but they have time.]
You were walking for five minutes and now you need to sit down?
[Chuuya doesn't buy that excuse for a second, but he also doesn't feel like pointing that out. Getting a drink at the beach doesn't exactly sound like a bad idea to him. Just like Dazai, he doesn't fully break contact, planning to sit down with him. He glances around a bit first, though - it's rare for beach chairs to be free, and he's curious why.
It's just because it belongs to that expensive beach front bar, he decides, so it's probably more expensive to use. There's already a waiter heading in their direction with some menus. So it's not because it's a shitty location. He starts to sit, at the same time as Dazai starts to pull him down, and he loses his balance.
He tumbles half into Dazai's lap before he catches himself.]
I was gonna join you, you know.
[See? He's doing this vacation thing right, and not even objecting to relaxing!]
Didn't know hydration was that important to you.
[Alcohol isn't hydrating, but he doesn't feel like pointing that out, either.]
Of course you were. But a little encouragement never hurt anybody~
[That's decidedly untrue for Dazai's encouragement in particular, but oh well. Making Chuuya lose his balance is satisfying, and Dazai responds by putting his arms around Chuuya, almost comically belatedly "catching" him. That approaching waiter may or may not be severely tested on his poker face! Then again, Dazai isn't going to insist on being clingy at all. Chuuya can "escape" if he wants; it's more fun playing with him a little, anyway.]
What are you talking about?! Your health is of the utmost importance to me, Chuuya!
[Such a statement might be sweet if it hadn't been historically untrue more often than not - but hey, Chuuya can take a punch. And a stab, and a poisoning or two. So clearly it's fine! Dazai has never really meant to get Chuuya killed, so clearly that means he does, indeed, care about Chuuya's health.]
[Chuuya does believe that statement of Dazai's - sort of. If he's been punched or stabbed or poisoned, it's usually from situations that Chuuya would have put himself in anyway, if Dazai had stopped to ask him first. That's usually how his plans work, in Chuuya's experience: Predict how people would act on their own, and make sure that things go the way he wants when they do. It almost always works out. It's fine.
And if Dazai has drugged Chuuya directly a few times, Chuuya has punched Dazai even more times than that, so even that evens out. Kind of. Either way, he does know Dazai prefers him healthy.]
If my health is so important to you, you'll order some salty snacks as well.
[Because Dazai has to pay for these drinks, he's decided. Just because. He squirms himself free, definitely starting to blush, because sitting on top of Dazai is a bit much. It's a two-person beach chair. There's enough space.
The waiter finally reaches them, only to ask if they're on their honeymoon. Chuuya turns bright red.]
[For all that Dazai has the emotional depth of an average grumpy housecat much of the time, a lot of things depend on his mood - but this, he has decided, is fine. Because he is in a good mood, and, for whatever reason, he's letting himself roll with that. May as well ride those waves all the way, right? Besides, that way he can sorta kinda almost pretend it's his decision to be happy (rather than just showing he's happy), and that it doesn't depend on external factors at all.
(Bet you're going to wish Dazai was still deeply unhappy and suicidal sometimes, Chuuya!!)
It helps that Chuuya is so easily embarrassed, offering a high entertainment value to just rolling with the not-actual-punches. Under different circumstances, the waiter's question might have made Dazai uncomfortable, but now, he's enjoying it. Chuuya may have squirmed away, but Dazai leans in to him a little and smiles at the waiter as if he's posing for a couple's vacation photo, made only by the waiter's eyes.]
However could you tell~? Any recommendations for romantic cocktails?
[Which is a silly question in basically every way possible, but who cares? The quick follow-up buys Dazai some time to hopefully overwhelm Chuuya, and he's quick to order some snacks as well. Clearly Chuuya can't complain when Dazai is doing what Chuuya asked!]
[Chuuya starts to sputter, cut off by Dazai before he can actually say anything. He wants to object, correct the assumption, except he doesn't actually want to to claim they're not here together, so what would he say? That Dazai is just his - what, his boyfriend? They've never put it into words like that. And he's not sure that word actually covers it anyway.
He'll let Dazai handle the interaction, and just try to sink into the beach chair instead. And while he might have squirmed away before, he never tried to create actual difference between them, so Dazai doesn't have to lean very far to lean into him. Chuuya waits for the waiter to leave again.]
I better not find out you've forged my signature on a wedding certificate. [He's not even sure that's possible. Both people have to be present when it's signed, he's pretty sure.] That's too much of a cop-out, even for you.
[He's not even fully sure what he means by that, but he has to say something while he recovers from the embarrassment.]
[Dazai asks the question as if he's seriously considering this moral conundrum in any depth - or, more likely, weighing the pros and cons of it. Leaning back in his own side of the chair, he enjoys the shade, the weather, and even the company.]
Well... I'm sure I could get you to sign, anyway.
[Which only leaves the slightly uncomfortable question of whether he should ask. But in Japan it's nothing to worry about, for all the wrong reasons, so... it's probably fine not to? Maybe??
He's still lowkey thinking about it now, but that's of later concern.]
[Chuuya glances up at Dazai when he moves back, just briefly. He'd never really thought about this before, because it's something that never applied to the kind of life he was living, but now he's realizing just how easily Dazai could get him to sign. That should probably worry him. He's suddenly living a different kind of life than before, just because Dazai is in it. He needs that waiter to hurry up with their drinks now.]
It's not like you ever even needed that excuse to claim that anything of mine also belongs to you.
[When in doubt, return to banter. Always accuse Dazai of being a thief. Even though Chuuya is the active criminal of the two of them, and even though he doesn't mind sharing with Dazai. He's still internally freaking out a little bit, but not because any of it is a bad thing, exactly. He already made his choice about keeping the damn mackerel in his life. This wouldn't actually change much, except that it might seem like a middle finger to some people.
But those people don't actually have a right to have any opinions about the two of them.
And also this conversation is actually just about Dazai wanting to make Chuuya blush, which he definitely still is.]
You do everything too much. Don't blame me for your character flaws.
[Not that Dazai is actually complaining, especially about this. But banter is, indeed, comfortable - and somehow tends to be painless, even when the worst insults are getting hurled around. It's hard to imagine either of them deliberately saying something that would genuinely hurt the other. ... Accidentally saying something like that may be a different thing, but that's not something Dazai wants to dwell on.]
But now it is time for you to be on vacation too much!
[Dazai puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. He doesn't actually need to watch Chuuya blushing to see it in his heart of hearts, anyway.]
And you do nothing too much. Maybe I'm just trying to balance it out.
[Chuuya has to dodge Dazai's elbow as he puts his arms up, one downside to sitting this close. He'd considered tilting his head to lean it against Dazai's shoulder, because why not, why shouldn't he, but now that shoulder is out of reach. Maybe he should focus on getting his embarrassment out of control first, then, before doing something to encourage the impression that they're married.
And maybe he should try relaxing like that, too. It's warm, it's comfortable, so he sits up slightly so he can take off his shirt, folding it quickly so he can set it aside. Then he leans back again, mimicking Dazai by putting his arms behind his head.]
But maybe I can try enjoying things your way just this once.
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This though, is different. It does feel a bit weird, like he should feel guilty about this even though he doesn't, a thought that doesn't even make sense to himself. But it's not like he's here because he's running away from his responsibilities, which is what vacations normally feel like to him. He's here because he's choosing Dazai - choosing the two of them. He's here because that's important. He's determined to enjoy himself, too, to relax, to not take a single work call during the time that they're here. It sounds like it should be impossible, except that so far - less than a day after they arrived, so not really anything to brag about yet - he hasn't even considered breaking that promise.]
I wonder if they have any hats at the local market.
[He might just be saying that to tease Dazai a little. He's not even wearing his hat at the moment, and if he wanted a new one, he'd order one especially made for him, but there's enough people wearing them here to protect from the sun. It makes sense. But Chuuya isn't really looking for anything in particular here. He's curious to see what it's like, how different it might be, and the plan is to just go with what seems interesting and deciding later.
(He's pretty sure Dazai would say the plan is to not have a plan, but that's why Chuuya isn't telling him his plan.)]
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... Well, maybe Dazai had just not wanted to get his hopes up. He does respect how important work is to Chuuya, even though he doesn't always show it. And even though Mori is a terribly boss who probably needs to be taken out at some point. (Just not when Dazai is the most suited candidate for taking over, in the current balance of powers. No, thanks.)]
They do, they do!
[Dazai did his "research", which is why he gets to be quasi-enthusiastic about the hats. This is crab country, after all~! That's very much why Dazai picked the location. Mostly for the food, but all the cheesy souvenirs are a bonus. He turns to Chuuya with a smile that's clearly not at all suspicious.]
Let's see if they have something in your size~
[And don't worry, Chuuya! Your phone is on silent. Just in case! Funny how that happens... (Look, if the Port Mafia really needed to reach him, they'd find a way. And Dazai would probably know it before then, anyway!)]
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A different hat store. One you wouldn't pick out for me.
[Does he even want to know what Dazai wants to make him wear? Probably better not to think too much about it, or Dazai will see it as a challenge and find something worse.]
Or something else. I wanted to get another shirt at some point.
[Because he totally didn't pack enough.]
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It's a market. Of course they're not going to have anything that is up to Chuuya's standards?!
[So why should you deny him the pleasure of seeing you in a dumbass crab hat? So rude!!
Oh well, Dazai will just have to buy himself a bunch of silly crab things. It's fiiiine.]
At least give it a chance?
[... Maybe not the things Dazai picks. But..!!]
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[He's dressed more casually now, for example! Very tourist appropriate! ... And also tailored and expensive, but that is besides the point, because the point is that he refuses to let Dazai be right.
Besides, this is about the crabs.]
But fine, I'll consider it.
[Consider giving it a chance, that is. No promises. He actually did want to get something as a souvenir anyway.]
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[Dazai keeps whining a little, but he barely even puts any effort into it. He knows better than most that pressuring Chuuya into doing anything rarely works; this is just how they talk, a lot of the time. It's fine. It's even a little comfortable somehow.
Meanwhile that local market seems to be coming up, if the increase in sounds and scents is anything to go by.]
Mmm, something smells good~
[He's talking about the food being cooked up in some stalls nearby, but he gives Chuuya a little lean-in anyway. Because Chuuya also smells good. Clearly this counts as multitasking!]
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I know you're talking about the food.
[But he knows Dazai is talking about him, too, even if Chuuya's scent is probably drowned out by everything else at the moment. He can't help it, though, compliments get to him, especially when Dazai says them so casually, even if he is doing it to get Chuuya in a better mood.
Because while pressure doesn't work on Chuuya, that just means Dazai will use other methods to get his way, and Dazai might just be trying to get Chuuya to lower his guard before resorting to some form of trickery. Chuuya's not too worried, though. Or, maybe he should say he doesn't really care. This is their vacation. No one else they know is here. He knew when he agreed to this that silly t-shirts or hats would be part of the package, because that's the kind of thing his dumbass
not-boyfriendpartner enjoys, so he's determined not to stress about it. Really. Mostly.Though he can still attempt some distractions of his own.]
And I'm obviously not trying to look professional today. [No hat and he's wearing short sleeves!] Just wanted to make sure I looked good. Not that I don't have outfits with me you'll like even more.
[Because he wants to look good for Dazai specifically.]
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[Is Dazai even talking about the food in the first place? ... Yes. Yes, he is. But Chuuya can't be sure about that!
Anyway, Dazai won't rub in the compliment more than he already has, because 1. that would be boring, and 2. he's already achieved his goal. Maybe he's not deliberately trying to get Chuuya in a better mood, but he does enjoy giving compliments. Mostly because complimenting Chuuya clearly reflects nicely on Dazai, too, since they're together. And Dazai doesn't even have to be human for it!
Kind of feels like it, though. He's really not sure what to think about that, but it's honestly whatever.
So maybe he'll continue with the compliments for a bit. They're extra fun when out in public, after all. You never know when Chuuya is going to turn bright red~! Not that Dazai is aiming for that as such (because that, too, would be boring), but it's nice to toss some light attempts out there and see what, if anything, takes.]
Chuuya doesn't need clothes to look good. In fact, isn't it the opposite?
[Dazai looks over at Chuuya as if considering this question very seriously and borderline scientifically. (It is hard to hate Chuuya's outfit, though.)]
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So I never have to dress up for you? [Not even a maid outfit?] And next time you suggest something, I should just strip instead?
[As long as it's just going to be the two of them. He might have let Dazai get away with a few things in public in the past, but there's a limit, somewhere around getting arrested for public indecency. Which is one advantage to being in this place - no one speaks Japanese. Hopefully. Because this could get embarrassing if they're overheard.]
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Obviously you can enjoy a present twice as much if you get to enjoy the packaging first!
[Best of both worlds! Don't you dare take away Dazai's maid outfit dreams!!]
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Then I'll keep dressing up for you while we're here.
[Meaning: No ridiculous touristy hat! Except maybe a t-shirt, though. Just to make Dazai happy.]
What should we check out first?
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Let's just walk around the market, and see what we find?
[Dazai has no real goal here, after all. He's just here to vaguely and surprisingly enjoy existing with Chuuya.]
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He reaches for Dazai's shirt, almost like he's about to move in close and slide an arm around his waist... And then that's exactly what he does, because why not? There's no need to say anything about it!]
Yeah, yeah. Let's find something shiny to distract you with.
[His tone is lightly teasing.]
And something to drink while we walk around. It's only gonna get hotter today.
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Semi-complaining aside, he puts an arm around Chuuya in return, because as long as they're doing this, Dazai is all for doing it right. He has no problem with public displays of affection if Chuuya doesn't!
But he does need to plot a bit to take advantage of the slightly cooler temperatures... and to take advantage of Chuuya, of course. And so, in spite of his earlier declaration, he doesn't linger around the market for long, instead steering Chuuya to the beach for a quick look.
Or probably a not-so-quick look. And maybe some drinks.]
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But he can just enjoy it, then. He leans into it a little, and lets Dazai steer them wherever he wants, looking around the market curiously. It's a little overwhelming, trying to decide on any particular stall to head towards, when everything is so different from Japan. He needs to take it all in first.
And it takes him a few moments longer than it should to realize Dazai is steering them out of the market.]
So no stupid t-shirts today?
[He has no objections. He probably should, since he'd wanted to check out the market, but they have time.]
You were walking for five minutes and now you need to sit down?
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[Maybe. Or maybe Dazai is just saying that because it supports his current goal.]
Besides, it's true that it will get even hotter soon enough. We should make sure to stay hydrated before it's too late!
[Dazai wastes no time taking a seat - on a beach chair, no less - though he doesn't fully break contact with Chuuya.
You'd better sit, Chuuya, or he will pull you down!]
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It's just because it belongs to that expensive beach front bar, he decides, so it's probably more expensive to use. There's already a waiter heading in their direction with some menus. So it's not because it's a shitty location. He starts to sit, at the same time as Dazai starts to pull him down, and he loses his balance.
He tumbles half into Dazai's lap before he catches himself.]
I was gonna join you, you know.
[See? He's doing this vacation thing right, and not even objecting to relaxing!]
Didn't know hydration was that important to you.
[Alcohol isn't hydrating, but he doesn't feel like pointing that out, either.]
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[That's decidedly untrue for Dazai's encouragement in particular, but oh well. Making Chuuya lose his balance is satisfying, and Dazai responds by putting his arms around Chuuya, almost comically belatedly "catching" him. That approaching waiter may or may not be severely tested on his poker face! Then again, Dazai isn't going to insist on being clingy at all. Chuuya can "escape" if he wants; it's more fun playing with him a little, anyway.]
What are you talking about?! Your health is of the utmost importance to me, Chuuya!
[Such a statement might be sweet if it hadn't been historically untrue more often than not - but hey, Chuuya can take a punch. And a stab, and a poisoning or two. So clearly it's fine! Dazai has never really meant to get Chuuya killed, so clearly that means he does, indeed, care about Chuuya's health.]
Hmm, how about some cocktails?
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And if Dazai has drugged Chuuya directly a few times, Chuuya has punched Dazai even more times than that, so even that evens out. Kind of. Either way, he does know Dazai prefers him healthy.]
If my health is so important to you, you'll order some salty snacks as well.
[Because Dazai has to pay for these drinks, he's decided. Just because. He squirms himself free, definitely starting to blush, because sitting on top of Dazai is a bit much. It's a two-person beach chair. There's enough space.
The waiter finally reaches them, only to ask if they're on their honeymoon. Chuuya turns bright red.]
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[For all that Dazai has the emotional depth of an average grumpy housecat much of the time, a lot of things depend on his mood - but this, he has decided, is fine. Because he is in a good mood, and, for whatever reason, he's letting himself roll with that. May as well ride those waves all the way, right? Besides, that way he can sorta kinda almost pretend it's his decision to be happy (rather than just showing he's happy), and that it doesn't depend on external factors at all.
(Bet you're going to wish Dazai was still deeply unhappy and suicidal sometimes, Chuuya!!)
It helps that Chuuya is so easily embarrassed, offering a high entertainment value to just rolling with the not-actual-punches. Under different circumstances, the waiter's question might have made Dazai uncomfortable, but now, he's enjoying it. Chuuya may have squirmed away, but Dazai leans in to him a little and smiles at the waiter as if he's posing for a couple's vacation photo, made only by the waiter's eyes.]
However could you tell~? Any recommendations for romantic cocktails?
[Which is a silly question in basically every way possible, but who cares? The quick follow-up buys Dazai some time to hopefully overwhelm Chuuya, and he's quick to order some snacks as well. Clearly Chuuya can't complain when Dazai is doing what Chuuya asked!]
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He'll let Dazai handle the interaction, and just try to sink into the beach chair instead. And while he might have squirmed away before, he never tried to create actual difference between them, so Dazai doesn't have to lean very far to lean into him. Chuuya waits for the waiter to leave again.]
I better not find out you've forged my signature on a wedding certificate. [He's not even sure that's possible. Both people have to be present when it's signed, he's pretty sure.] That's too much of a cop-out, even for you.
[He's not even fully sure what he means by that, but he has to say something while he recovers from the embarrassment.]
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[Dazai asks the question as if he's seriously considering this moral conundrum in any depth - or, more likely, weighing the pros and cons of it. Leaning back in his own side of the chair, he enjoys the shade, the weather, and even the company.]
Well... I'm sure I could get you to sign, anyway.
[Which only leaves the slightly uncomfortable question of whether he should ask. But in Japan it's nothing to worry about, for all the wrong reasons, so... it's probably fine not to? Maybe??
He's still lowkey thinking about it now, but that's of later concern.]
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It's not like you ever even needed that excuse to claim that anything of mine also belongs to you.
[When in doubt, return to banter. Always accuse Dazai of being a thief. Even though Chuuya is the active criminal of the two of them, and even though he doesn't mind sharing with Dazai. He's still internally freaking out a little bit, but not because any of it is a bad thing, exactly. He already made his choice about keeping the damn mackerel in his life. This wouldn't actually change much, except that it might seem like a middle finger to some people.
But those people don't actually have a right to have any opinions about the two of them.
And also this conversation is actually just about Dazai wanting to make Chuuya blush, which he definitely still is.]
I let you get away with too much.
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[Not that Dazai is actually complaining, especially about this. But banter is, indeed, comfortable - and somehow tends to be painless, even when the worst insults are getting hurled around. It's hard to imagine either of them deliberately saying something that would genuinely hurt the other.
... Accidentally saying something like that may be a different thing, but that's not something Dazai wants to dwell on.]
But now it is time for you to be on vacation too much!
[Dazai puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. He doesn't actually need to watch Chuuya blushing to see it in his heart of hearts, anyway.]
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[Chuuya has to dodge Dazai's elbow as he puts his arms up, one downside to sitting this close. He'd considered tilting his head to lean it against Dazai's shoulder, because why not, why shouldn't he, but now that shoulder is out of reach. Maybe he should focus on getting his embarrassment out of control first, then, before doing something to encourage the impression that they're married.
And maybe he should try relaxing like that, too. It's warm, it's comfortable, so he sits up slightly so he can take off his shirt, folding it quickly so he can set it aside. Then he leans back again, mimicking Dazai by putting his arms behind his head.]
But maybe I can try enjoying things your way just this once.
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